#17 Growth: Honey and Wildfire - Balancing Strength and Softness

Explore the dynamic interplay between strength and softness in this episode. I challenge societal stereotypes, and rethinking femininity.

1. Embracing Femininity, Not Feminism:

Celebrate the unique strengths of women without trying to mimic masculine traits. Embracing femininity isn't about being weak, but recognizing distinct gifts.

2. Softness Doesn't Equal Weakness:

Being soft doesn't equate to weakness. It's a blend of gentleness and resilience, offering a powerful way to navigate life.

3. Honey and Wildfire: A Powerful Metaphor:

Discover the power of embodying both sweetness and strength. Embracing femininity doesn't diminish one's power but amplifies it.

4. Real Connection Through Authenticity:

Authenticity trumps aggression. Create spaces where everyone feels valued and empowered by being true to yourself.

5. Celebrating Differences in Power:

Acknowledge and celebrate the unique strengths of both genders. It fosters a more inclusive and supportive society.

6. Kindness as a Form of Strength:

Kindness isn't a sign of vulnerability. It's a powerful demonstration of compassion without compromising one's strength.

Embrace your unique qualities and redefine femininity on your terms. By being authentically you, you have the power to reshape perceptions. Thanks for joining us today; catch you in the next episode!

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In this episode, we explore the balance between strength and softness, challenging societal misconceptions. Let's explore the key takeaways from this enlightening discussion.

1. Embracing Femininity, Not Feminism: I advocates for a nuanced understanding of femininity, emphasizing the unique strengths and gifts that women possess. It's about recognizing and celebrating the inherent differences between genders, rather than striving to mimic masculine qualities. Many people misunderstand the concept of femininity, equating it with weakness or meekness. The goal here is not to be a feminist in the sense of trying to be just like men. It's about celebrating the unique gifts and strengths that women possess.

2. Softness Doesn't Equal Weakness: A pivotal message from this episode is that being soft doesn't equate to being weak. Our edges can be both gentle and unyielding, a duality that empowers us to navigate life's challenges with grace and resilience. You don't have to choose between being strong and being kind or gentle.

3. Honey and Wildfire: A Powerful Metaphor: The analogy of "Honey and Wildfire" beautifully encapsulates the essence of this discussion. Both are the same color gold, symbolizing that one can exude both sweetness and strength simultaneously. It's a reminder that embracing one's femininity doesn't diminish their power. The idea is beautifully captured by the quote: "Just because you are soft doesn't mean that you are not a force." You can be both honey and wildfire.

4. Real Connection Through Authenticity: The host highlights the importance of authentic connection, asserting that aggression isn't a prerequisite for asserting oneself. By embracing our true selves, we create a space where others feel valued and empowered. Real connection doesn't require aggression. It's about owning your space and making others feel seen and celebrated.

5. Celebrating Differences in Power: The episode emphasizes that power isn't a one-size-fits-all concept. Men and women possess different strengths, and recognizing and celebrating these distinctions fosters a more inclusive and supportive society. Women and men have different powers, and we should celebrate these differences rather than trying to replace each other.

6. Proverbs 31: A Blueprint for Balanced Femininity: For those who believe in God, Kindness as a Form of Strength: The episode challenges the notion that kindness is synonymous with vulnerability. Instead, it encourages women to embrace kindness as a form of strength, demonstrating that one can be compassionate without compromising their power.

It's essential to remember that we can be soft and strong, kind and powerful, like honey and wildfire. Embrace your unique qualities, whether you're a man or a woman, and celebrate the diversity of strengths that make us all individuals. As you go about your life, remember that you have the power to redefine what it means to be feminine, not feminist, and to make the world a better place by being authentically you. Thanks for joining us today, and I'll catch you in the next episode.

Transcription:

00:00

I feel very strongly about and is something that I love to have conversations around. And that is the topic of being feminine, not a feminist. This might ruffle some feathers and I'm okay with that. My goal personally is to be feminine. I'm not looking...

00:30

to be a feminist in the sense of, I can do what every man can do and I'm just as strong as them and I have the same, all the same skills and giftings that they do. That's not the case. God gave us, as women, incredible gifts to be able to do things that men can't do and vice versa. And so leaning into

00:59

how perfectly God created me to be, and the strengths and the wisdom and the things that he gave me as a woman.

01:08

and to be feminine and what that means. Now that doesn't mean to be weak or to be even necessarily meek or, you know, quiet or withdrawn or have to like not stand up for things. That's not it at all. And that's, I think the picture that has been painted by a lot of society is there's this like, well, you're either like this hardcore feminist where you're loud and

01:38

proud and kind of this like harshness or you have to be this like meek like church mouse. And I don't think that's the case at all. And so while I fully am beyond thankful for the women who have gone before me and you know have given me the right to vote and for

02:07

those pieces of equality, I'm not looking to be a guy at all, at all. They are beautifully capable and gifted in their ways. So feminine, not feminist, you can be soft, but you can be strong. And that is a huge thing. One of my favorite quotes, and I had posted it,

02:35

on Instagram a long time ago was, just because you are soft doesn't mean that you are not a force. Honey and wildfire are both the same color gold. That's by Victoria Erickson. And so with that, I'll read the post I'd written. This was a few, a couple of years ago now. Sometimes I am misunderstood. Some see the wildfire and are intimidated. Some see the honey and think it's weakness. I strongly disagree.

03:03

My edges are soft, but my edges are strong. I learned to roar from within. I don't have to be louder than everyone else. I am in charge of my energy, leading myself, and instead of roaring at others, I've learned that by giving my best, it inspires others to show up to be their best too. The truth is that real connection means I don't have to be aggressive. I own the space around me where people feel seen,

03:33

and celebrated. Where I am, people are held at equal power to me. It's just that our powers are different. The richness in me sees the richness in you. People often say that if you're around me long enough, you'll believe that anything is possible. Your revolution awaits. You are more than enough because God created you absolutely perfectly.

04:01

Let's not change who we are because of how other people perceive us. You can be anything, including soft and still be strong. I'm on this road with you. And that

04:16

is one of those pieces that I want to step into fully and continue to get to you. If you believe in God, if you're Christian, Proverbs 31 and being a Proverbs 31 woman is a really cool chapter. And if you go read Proverbs 31, you'll see what that's all about. And I'm not gonna dig into that a lot on here. I know I have people who do believe and don't believe,

04:46

It's a place where

04:51

I get to show up as soft and yet strong. And on a fun note, I mean, there's lots out there, but one of my favorite songs actually that I like playing is by Colt Ford, it's a country song, obviously, and it's called Reload. And like the first line in the song is don't take my kindness for weakness. And that's something that I've got to learn

05:21

You can be kind and people are going to tromple all over that and they're going to try to hurt you. Of course. That doesn't mean that you get hard. That doesn't mean that you get hardened by it. Same with in relationships if whether friendships or significant other or family, you can allow

05:51

the hurt and the pain that we have to walk through to harden you or you can choose to learn from it and to continue to be soft. Because they can't, no matter what they do, they can't make you feel a certain way. That's simply a choice. So how in your life, if you're a woman, where do you get to show up as soft but strong?

06:21

Where do you get to show up? Stepping into your femininity?

06:27

still being strong.

06:32

where you get to show up with kindness, that doesn't mean weakness and letting people take advantage of you or not standing up for yourself or what's right or your beliefs.

06:45

And if you're a guy...

06:52

depending on where you're at in life. How can you celebrate that and see that and look for that in women?

07:00

Because women were obviously, obviously, I'm gonna put goals around that, we get to, because we want to, celebrate the guys that show up in their perfect gifts and how God created them to be.

07:21

and we're not trying to replace them.

07:25

So guys, how can you see those qualities and point those out and look for that? And women, how can you see that in others and celebrate that in other women as well?

07:44

And how can you show up with that soft but strongness, kindness but strongness?

07:56

Honey and Wildfire. So I hope this has been a fun podcast episode. This is something that I've loved because for a long time I felt torn and this is the last piece that I wanna dig into actually. So growing up, and we see this a lot these days too, and I'm not gonna dig into this too much, but growing up I was very much like a girly girl for a while.

08:25

for a long time. And then there was this point where I felt like I had to, not even that I had to, that I wanted to keep up with my brothers. I have three of them, I don't have any sisters. There was a whole lot of Lego and playing Cowboys and Indians and building forts outside growing up, as opposed to picnics with the dolls. And I'm super thankful for those years, they were great.

08:55

But I hit a point where I shifted from a lot of like that girly stuff, girly stuff, the femininity, those traits and things that, you know, are in, that God gave us and put in inside of us, the nurturing and all those things, to playing with the boys and wearing jeans instead of dresses a lot. And like...

09:22

enjoying helping dad with the cows more than cooking dinner. My brothers cooked dinner more than I did. And I don't regret that. But here's the thing, that didn't change who I was. I could still show up and there were a lot of days where I would show up in a dress helping dad with the cows. With shorts underneath so I could do whatever I needed to do. But I could be both. It didn't mean that I was like this tomboy who, you know,

09:52

was questioning if I was a girl, or something crazy like that. And I could hold space for both, but there was a point in time where it felt like I had to be, there were some situations in my life as I continued to grow up, where it felt like I needed to be really strong and put the femininity and that I couldn't be soft. And I started to get more hardened, honestly, to a lot of things. And

10:23

And that's not who I wanted to be. And so coming back to this space of, I can be weak, not weak, I can be soft, but I can be strong. I don't have to be soft. Just because I'm soft doesn't mean I'm weak. And that's a huge, that piece feels so good. And being in alignment with who God created you to be and getting to step into that and walk that out, that's gonna look a little bit different for everyone. But where do you get to show up?

10:53

And if you're a guy, you can be strong and masculine and all those things, and still be kind and loving and gentle. That doesn't make you not a guy's guy, or whatever that is, for you. You can be both.

11:14

So I'd love to hear if you have feedback on this in your thoughts. And I hope that you go out and you can be honey and wildfire at the same time. See you next week.